How to have a hard conversation

1. 01Define the outcomeWrite one sentence: what do I want to be true after this conversation? If the honest answer is 'to win', wait.
2. 02Pick the time and placePrivate, unrushed, and not while either of you is hungry, exhausted, or in public.
3. 03Open with facts, not character"The last three reports came in after the deadline" lands. "You're unreliable" starts a defense.
4. 04Say the impact and the askName what it caused for you, then make one specific, doable request.
5. 05Then be quietAsk what you're missing and let the silence run. Most useful information arrives after the pause you want to fill.
6. 06Close with a written agreementRestate what each of you will do and by when, and send a short follow-up message so nobody remembers it differently.

General educational information, not legal, tax, medical, or financial advice. Rules vary by country and change over time — verify with a qualified professional before acting.