What nobody tells you
- The loneliest period of a city move is usually months two through four, after the initial novelty fades and before real friendships form — this is normal, not a sign it was the wrong move.
- Neighborhood choice matters more to daily happiness than almost any other single decision in a move.
- Making friends as an adult in a new city requires initiating repeatedly and showing up consistently, not waiting to be invited.
The basics
- Cost of living varies enormously between cities in ways that aren't obvious from salary comparisons alone — check housing, taxes, and transportation together.
- Short-term housing (a month-to-month sublet) while you scout neighborhoods in person often beats signing a year lease sight unseen.
- Most cities have recurring interest-based groups or events that are specifically designed for newcomers.
The playbook
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The mistakes — what people get wrong
- Signing a full-year lease sight unseen in a neighborhood you haven't actually spent time in.
- Assuming friendships will form passively — in a new city, they require repeated, active effort.
- Judging the whole move based on the lonely middle months instead of giving it a fair runway.
Ask yourself
- Have I actually researched the neighborhoods, or just the city as a whole?
- Do I have a real plan for meeting people, or am I assuming it'll happen naturally?
- Am I giving this move enough time before deciding if it was the right call?
Go deeper
- Practice
Join one recurring group in your first month
Repetition with the same people builds friendship faster than a string of one-off events.
- Tool
A short-term sublet in your target neighborhood
The lowest-risk way to test a city before committing to a full lease.
General educational information, not legal, tax, medical, or financial advice. Rules vary by country and change over time — verify with a qualified professional before acting.