How to be a good listener

1. 01Ask 'and how did that feel?'Most conversation stalls at facts. The interesting, useful material lives one question past the events.
2. 02Resist the urge to fixAdvice arrives too early nine times out of ten. Ask 'do you want help thinking, or just to be heard?' and honour the answer.
3. 03Don't match stories'That happened to me too' quietly relocates the spotlight. Hold it on them for far longer than feels natural.
4. 04Normalise before you analyse'That sounds completely reasonable given what happened' unlocks more honesty than any insight.
5. 05Tolerate silenceThree seconds of quiet feels endless and is where people say the thing they came to say.
6. 06Close the loop laterA message a few days on — 'how did the meeting go?' — turns one conversation into an actual relationship.

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