How to have a better argument

1. 01Delay the opening by ten minutesNothing important should be raised in the first minutes of anger, hunger, or arrival home. Same subject, later hour, entirely different conversation.
2. 02Lead with the feeling, not the verdict'I felt invisible last night' can be discussed. 'You're selfish' can only be defended against.
3. 03Say what you actually wantComplaint is a vague protest; a request is specific and answerable. Convert one into the other before speaking.
4. 04Repeat their case back until they agree it's fairNobody can hear you while they feel misheard. Summarise their position generously, out loud, before offering yours.
5. 05Call a timeout with a return time'I need twenty minutes, then I want to finish this.' Leaving without a return time is abandonment; leaving with one is regulation.
6. 06Repair afterwards, explicitlyA short, unhedged apology for the manner — even when you were right about the matter — is what keeps the next argument survivable.

General educational information, not legal, tax, medical, or financial advice. Rules vary by country and change over time — verify with a qualified professional before acting.